Experience through words
Don’t let me down, You.
Please, whatever it is that out there, at one infinitely small point, put in motion every single atom in existence with a fury none could ever imagine.
With a force that is incomprehensible, all you see, feel and hear, was blasted into existence.
Please do not let me down, in all your wonder and earnestness, I know what my heart desires, please, do not drench this fire.
– A. Garcia
A silent hand moves you
Entails you forward
It keeps you safe, so you think
Dictates how you move
How you see
How you feel
One thing I must say
Beware of its tricks
The alluring warmth and comfort
A silent hand moves you
The hand of fear.
– A. Garcia
How ironic, that for someone who enjoys crafting words together, I am often at loss for words…
I don’t want to write anymore
about longing and desire
or unrequited circumstances,
because I dare not write the word again.
I will live, languish, and like,
but that other word,
I do not utter
I do not write
It’s not that I gave up
My soul is full of fright.
– A. Garcia
Paralysis by analysis
While moments continue to flow
Earth spins regardless
Frantic hands waving at a closed door.
– A. Garcia
Here is a cow, it moos and eats grass.
Present.
Here is a dog, it barks, sleeps and eats.
Present.
Here is a turtle, moving slow towards erudition.
Present.
Here is a bird, flying high and free, searching for prey.
Present.
Here is a human, it ruminates, digests and builds incessantly because it’s afraid of death.
– A. Garcia
There is no scarcity.
There is abundance galore.
Cynicism, greed and division, rulers of all.
There is an overflow of love and peace that has been hijacked by a dark force. It pulls at our strings and untangles us whole. And, when we are on the floor, aching to blame, fretting and shivering, strings swept away by the wind, it will take our shriveled, motley finger and blame elsewhere.
Your neighbor, your coworker, your boss. The abuse you suffered and the loss. You’re to blame your lover and your child, or the stranger from another land looking for hope and finding shame.
And while we fight amongst ourselves, the planned coordinated fight, the event of a lifetime, a heavyweight bout, other mouths eat and laugh at our expense.
And while we point that finger at our neighbor’s face, laying on the ashen floor of a dead world, we will say, “we did it! we did it! we conquered fear and evil.” We will look around at ruins and scourge, wondering what happened in those moments of blind, irrational judgment. The cause of it all will be high on the mountain laughing amongst the gold that it stole, the prayers it misguided and swallowed whole, broken hearts decorating it’s core, all the treasures it took from our souls.
– A. Garcia
Damn you, Baader Meinhof phenomenon! Cognitive dissonance has now gripped my soul and holds me down. My face is red and hot, fiery with unmet desire. I saw the signs once and see them all the time now. My brain assumed, “there is a reason you see all this and that.”
A message from up above.
Or down below.
Or all around.
And now you tell me it’s a psychological term, a neurological connection that was formed. It only made me see what I wanted to see.
Let me!
Let me believe what I want to believe.
Do not flutter my heart with needless facts. I want desire, longing and rapture. Nothing but earnest fervor. In this world gripped by insecurity, some cling to science, others to faith and most egregious of all? Some cling to fear.
Which do I choose to tranquilize my heart?
In a past life, perhaps erudition,
Yet broken hearts speak and feel differently
I choose faith, my dear.
– A. Garcia
Your time, a precious resource.
Your attention, even more so.
Time can be as infinite as all the fabric of space; when attention is lost, time is lost.
‘Energy flows where your attention goes.’
– A. Garcia
A ghost of a wind flew by
it thundered through
hats and scarfs all flying about,
A terrible commotion
even the strongest weld became unglued.
Forever lost in thought
I sat in a funnel-like alley
on my table a lovely meal,
a stew sent down from the gods above.
Soon enough a dog hurries along
tail wagging, mouth open,
tongue hanging out
it prances with no doubt
mind going along
looking for shelter from the wind
eyeing something to chew.
The furry animal looking for a roof
saunters up to my towering umbrella
it lays its behind right next to my table,
my dancing table with legs wobbling askew
looks like I have another to add to my singular crew.
Wet dog as companion
both lost in thought
the blast of wind took our attention,
now we have no clue.
So, I sit at this table, sipping my soup,
laughing with a mighty force
the wind, oh the mighty wind!
It just blew by and someone lost their wig!
A skirt was lifted inside out,
the street vendor gets knocked over,
how could he maintain
he is skinnier than a twig.
Clouds blocking the sky
a tiny tornado passing by,
I look up into the storm
and from my hungry belly
I sing next to my new friend
maniacal hysteria gripping me with force
both hooting and hollering,
this dog sure knows how to howl
so I sing out loud,
“Where have you gone, blue?
You have left us torn,
will you come back when it’s all draught?
why bother with this small portion,
all you do is confuse!
I try and try, but always get caught,
oh mighty stars,
mystical moon,
give the answers my heart desires,
Let me know someday,
what should I pursue?”
Lost in melodies
in wandering thoughts
the mighty wind taking my attention
drifting far and beyond,
the world could end right then
my mind wouldn’t notice a thing
even a thundering god, with his mighty grin,
laughing at all the pain he will bring.
“Pay attention! Don’t get lost in your head”,
an ancient telling from the lips of the lovely lady who gave birth to me,
I can hear the words, screamed in my head,
echoing in the emptiness of a drifting consciousness.
My mind finally jolts awake
shaking my brain
I return from the reverie,
the rumbling continues, this time in my stomach
hunger reminds me of the situation I’m in.
Looking down to my once steamy bowl
shock pronounced on my face,
I shouldn’t feel even mildly surprised,
lo and behold,
The dog!
The dog ate my stew!
Down the alley he goes
tail wagging
legs prancing
he looks back with a twinkle in his eye,
is that a hint of a mischievous smile?
a grin so sly,
how could you be mad.
There you go my friend
hope to see you again
don’t worry about me
I’ll do as I always do,
and just pray my goodbyes.
– A. Garcia
Disappointed the fountain was empty…much like life, it’s a lesson to learn; there will be disappointment, rejection, longing and fear. With sprinkles of joy, peace and elation. In spite of these attachments, because we are attached to our feelings, life’s mysteries are worth discovering, even when they lead to dead-ends and empty fountains.
You look up at the sky too much, wondering what will be. I’ve heard that. Lost amongst millions of forgotten lights, ghosts shimmering and floating amongst a vast pool of darkness, a mostly empty sea.
There is an indifference out there,
It shakes you
Haunts you
Befuddles you
If it wasn’t for this, where would you be? Should your focus be placed elsewhere? On the gods and their misplaced scourge? How much of our presence is required? Wondering what our place is in this speck of dust and mud we call earth.
– A. Garcia
They move as slow as melting clay
Left behind in a shimmering glare
Still I plot the days
Hoping for blue across the way.
– A. Garcia
I want to clear the way for a road; cobblestone streets or straight black tar pavement. How about a pristine dirt path that leads nowhere, yet fills you with joy. That sounds better. The sun and the moon our only guides. Perhaps a white-sand beach awaits, waves crashing rhythmically and inviting. Or maybe a morning dew amongst a lush, green forest, a lukewarm lake to swim and recollect. A nighttime dip, warm water hugging our forms, gazing at the stars, imagining the constellations don't seem so far. The destination is not important, no need for a map, as long as you take my hand to walk the lonely path.
How does, “let’s be alone together sound?”
We leave behind a wake of energy, quantum particles that exist here and there simultaneously. They might as well be on one of Jupiter's moons, same moment, same instance, existing across space and time. Is there such a force as the passing of time? With its relentless power, unwavering with no compassion. You will marvel at beauty and despair, see hope come and go like asteroids in the sky. It will trample over your deepest love and make your fears seem obsolete and mundane. What would we give for that hug that never materialized, to linger on your lips waiting for no tomorrow, and have a mole burrow deep taking with it traces of your pain. Hindsight will slap you in the face, the redness on your cheeks stinging, and while short-lived, the memory lingers on, red and hot in your mind, reeling at options left behind.
Time.
It comes for you and always finds a path, it knows, somehow it just knows. That's why we make roads, to leave marks behind, imprinted with the weight of time it took to take that step, until it fades away into the unknown, leaving memories that float around well beyond existence.
It’s all there to take but fear leaves you in a bind.
- A. Garcia
It feels like it’s been a while
Even a second is too long
A lifetime that fits in the micro
Why don’t you drop on by
And make me smile.
Oh! How you easily inspire
Levitating your energy close to mine
I didn’t ask for it,
A tree trunk fell on my head, and I realized
It was that damn smile.
– A. Garcia
No one is ever ready.
The sky is never perfectly blue, the night is never completely dark,
There is light when there is a shadow
A sprinkle of dust motes showing through a trace of light
It’s all there, present yet not seen
Readiness is an illusion
Circumstance hindering your sight
Yet your heart knows
Neurotransmitters sparking the message
The one the soul feels in spite of fright
Listen carefully
It’s all there, don’t be afraid
The earth is spinning
So is your mind
centrifugal forces push out and bring stability
Life is risk or stagnation
So hold on tight
We are on a journey towards salvation.
– A. Garcia
Tap, tap, there is a crack in the shell
Split open over a sizzling pan,
Butter bubbles burst in heat
Scrambled, flipped, or over-easy
Congratulations, you’ve made some eggs.
And that’s it, it’s a wonderful creation, in whichever form you decide to take it. What else could I possibly say.
– A. Garcia
I want to think of you, not dream of you. Dreams are subconscious and unintentional.
To think of you is to put intention forward.
It’s on purpose.
When you see something
When you see something
There it goes crossing your view again
Im looking at you, number eleven
You pop in and out of my vision
Even when I contemplate heaven
Twin stacks that seem sky-bound
Is there something you want to tell
Spit it out and at least make a sound
Is it a message
Is it a sign
Should I count my blessings?
I lay awake thinking what is it all about
In doubt I wait for something pleasant
What do you have in mind, number eleven?
-A.Garcia
There is a demon in my room. Every night, as I lay to sleep, it pulls on my awareness and drags me into a well that runs deep. Into the void I fall, the gentle embrace of darkness soaks me to the bone. Every night I expect to see a ghastly form, squinting me eyes to catch a glimpse of its ugly core. As much as I try, the demon never shows. All I see are shadows thrown about, all fractured and torn.
A whisper in my ear is all that I hear, “Don’t worry about seeing, as long as you can feel, shut your eyes, and just sleep some more. I will take you, every night my arms embrace your subtle form, and that cold you feel is your body detaching from its soul, just know one day your eyes will open no more”.
– A. Garcia
